Miles Austin went to Monmouth University. Besides the obvious "whatever happens at Monmouth stays in Monmouth" jokes (they are so cliche now (as is, strangely, that phrase)). Now, I know what you are thinking. Monmouth? But listen, Monmouth has famous alumni, according to Wikipedia; besides Mr. Austin, these laudatory figures were listed
Stephanie LaGrossa, reality show contestant was featured on Survivor: Palau and Survivor: Guatemala
Katie Gallagher, reality show contestant runner up on Survivor: Palau
John Mattone, RVP of Enterprise Rent-A-Car
You know your college has hit it big time when your most famous alumni is Miles Austin, and your other famous alumni are two -- TWO -- survivor contestants and one John, Mattone, a REGIONAL VICE PRESIDENT AT ENTERPRISE RENT-A-CAR.
What does Mr. Mattone do? HE WRITES PEER REVIEWS ON LINKEDiN!
And he donated $200 to the PAC of Enterprise Rent-a-car.
This raises some interesting questions:
1. Enterprise has a PAC? What the hell? Really? What do they lobby for? Laws that require other car companies to specify that they will not be picking you up?
2. Who is this Tiffany, and where can I hire her? She sounds so hard working.
Actually, according to that PAC statement, he no longer works for Enterprise. WIKIPEDIA IS WRONG AGAIN!
Also, those survivor girls?
One of these is not a girl. Also, not bad, Monmouth.
So what have we learned about Monmouth, and, by extension, the Savior-that-is-Miles-Austin?
Some hot girls went there. So did John Mattone. And if I have to hear anyone else say "Miles to go before you sleep" again, I'll freaking kill somebody.
And just because I love you, and I've been talking about Death Proof:
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